A Project of YAOTL

Early Teen Dating…. November 21, 2008

Teens face strong pressure at home, school as well as getting involved in a romantic relationship. In our mid-teen years we start relationships ; friendships and/or physical attractions with peers of the opposite sex. Early teen dating is more superficial, for fun, recreation and exploring sexuality. In older teen years a relationship could be more about companionship, affection, intimacy and moral support. Not all teen relationships are like this, it also depends how mature and what each individual is looking for in a relationship. Desiring a romantic partner is a natural thing of adolescence. But in a serious romantic relationship in the preteen/early teen years can create problems. A portion of teens face the dangers of dating violence.

For example, in a representative poll of over 1,000 teens (13-18 years old):

Of the almost half (49%) of 16- to 18-year-olds who have been “seriously involved” in a relationship,

• 24% felt pressure to date
• 14% said they would do almost anything to keep a boyfriend or girlfriend.
• 61% of teens who had been in a relationship stated they had a boyfriend/girlfriend who made them “feel bad or embarrassed” about themselves.
• 15% of teens who had been in a relationship have been “hit, slapped, or pushed” by a boyfriend or girlfriend
• 25% of those in a “serious” relationship were “hit, slapped, or pushed.”
• One-third (33%) of 16- to 18-year-olds said sex is “expected” of people their age who are in a relationship–about the same portion (31%) of teens who have been in a “serious” relationship agreed with this statement.

The expectation for sex in teen relationships may be partly explained by the media which socializes teens on dating and sexual behavior.
Now the whole issue of sex is more open, you see it in movies, music videos, magazines, television and in video games, basically everywhere! Young children know more about it than their parents do. I have talked about early teen dating to some of my family members, and they have told “this is how kids are today, they mature much younger”. But do we really?
I think that being mature is not just knowing about stuff, but it’s about knowing how to responsibly behave, deal with the complexities of human relationships and make good choices

Experts say that romantic relationships in teen years are a way of knowing more about yourself, I think that we need to form an identity and know who we are before beginning a love
relationship. We teens don’t know ourselves well enough to share who we are with someone else. Having a crush is not a big deal ,but acting on early romantic feelings when a teen is not emotionally ready can lead to problems for early daters. Early daters start developing the idea that they need to be with someone in order to continue walking, in other words they develop a dependent personality. We can’t always walk in anyone’s shadow. We need to learn to depend on ourselves. I am 14 years old and I am in a really important point in my life where I want to take advantage that I am young and that I can do so many great stuff for my community but also and more importantly do great things for myself, like getting an education. With that tool my life will be much more easier but also I won’t have to depend on man economically. Maybe your thinking “This girl will definitely be a nun”. But I am thinking in my future, and I’m doing things that will help me achieve my goals. Like Whitney Houston once said “I found the greatest love of all inside of me”

By:Carooh